All finished with exams! Here's how things went:

So it's 5 PM the night before the Art History exam, and all I've done to study is read 1.5 out of the four assigned books and some wikipedia articles. I go to study with my friends at their apartment, which proved to be exceptionally helpful since one is an art history major, and for the next seven hours we crammed a semester's worth of (f)art into our heads.

Now, the filologia romanza (linguistics) exam was also supposed to be the next day, but one of the girls had it moved for everyone who had a conflict with art history to the day after (Wednesday). I had already worked the conflict out with the art history professor (she told me very kindly that I should go take the filologia romanza exam and then come to her exam afterwards where she'd be wating for me) and really didn't want to have to take an exam the day before I was leaving Bologna, so I continually toyed with the idea of trying to take the filologia romanza exam on Tuesday as well. Problem is I didn't finish the last 20 pages of the one book he assigned and comprehended very little of the parts I did read. So when I got home Monday night from studying art history with my friends at 12:45 AM, I knocked on Marc's door (Marc was also taking the class and is a linguistics major) and asked him if wanted to study - and by study I obviously meant that I wanted him to explain to me everything I needed to know. He agreed and for the next half hour he talked about a couple things in rapid fire Italian while I took notes. By the time I went to bed I still wasn't sure if I was going to take the exam and opted to decide in the morning.

Both exams began at 10:00 AM. Marc didn't know where the exam was, so when he asked me at 9:15 that morning if I was taking the filolgia romanza exam I told him I would go with him only if he explained to me again what I needed to know in English on the way. He agreed, so on our 20 minute walk I learned some more linguistics.

Now let me explain how oral exams work in Italy: Everyone first signs up for the exam on a piece of paper outside the professor's door. Then, everyone shows up at the time the exam is supposed to begin and the professor (and perhaps 1 or 2 TAs if there are any) will take each student one by one (sometimes in the order in which they signed up on the list, but sadly, this method is simply too obvious and fair for some professors, who come up with some absurd way to decide who goes when that no one understand) and ask him/her questions. This process will most definitely take all day and has the possibility of having to carry over to the next day. So basically, there is a chance that you will show up for your exam on time, wait 8 hours, not be able to take it, and have to come back the next day.

So we get to the filolgia romanza professor's office at 9:45, 15 minutes before the exam is supposed to begin. The professor of course doesn't show up until 11. And he is pissed. Apparently, the paper outside his door that said "filologia romanza exam. May 27, 10:00" was the wrong list (which sucks because I was FOURTH). There was apparently another piece of paper on the ground floor, which we were supposed to know was the right list. So he started yelling at all the Italians asking them if they knew how to read and told them that they should consider changing majors. Yeah. So he invents this other list which puts me way at the end. While he's reading the names he mentions that he has to give a separate exam to some of the Americans the next day and then goes, "Those Americans control everything. Even here." Hahaha from the Italian audience - great. And now I have to ask him if it's alright if I can take the exam today instead of tomorrow. I do. He then asks, "You want to take it today?" I say, yes, if it wouldn't displease him to (literal translation) and that if it's a problem, that I could just return tomorrow. He responds: "This is Europe, we don't do it like the Americans. Do you want to take the exam today or not?" [Laughter from Italians.] Now urinating on myself, I say yes. He goes, then you will. I thank him and then tell him that I have another exam. He cuts me off and goes, "Well I'm not going to give you the exam first, that wouldn't be fair." I respond that of course I didn't expect to go first, but rather, since I was way towards the end of the list, if it would be alright if I went to go take the other exam and then came back. He says no and then something in rapid Italian that I didn't understand and goes in his office. So I turn to the Italian next to me and go, "What did he say?" She says that he said that I should go to my other exam and then come back and if he's still here, he'll give me the exam and if he's not, that I should just come back tomorrow. The professor then comes back out of his office with the list of people he was expecting to get through that day, which I was the very last person on. Unfortunately that meant that Marc, who was immediately after me on the list, was the first one to get bumped to the next day. Oops.

Horrified by that entire encounter, I run off to the art history exam. It's about 11:20 by the time I get there. No one has gone yet. The professor had a colloquium to go to and would be arriving some time later, so it's just the two teaching assistants giving the exam. About 10 minutes after I get there, the first two people are called in (number 1 and 5 on the list - why?). I'm number 11 on the list, so I figure I have some time. Turns out to be a lot of time because each exam lasted over 3o minutes (We hear from those that come out that the exam is pretty intense: they ask you really specific questions that you don't really know the answer to, but in the end you get a decent grade - everyone between a 25 and 30). Plus, after number 8, they skipped to 17. Then the professor arrived and the three of them had a coffee break for 20 minutes. Then the two teaching assistants took a break, telling us they'd be back in 5-10 minutes. An hour later (during which numbers 18 and 9 went) they stroll back in and of course immediately go to the bathroom, because God knows they didn't have time to do that during their free hour. It's now 3:00 and time for 10, 11 (me!), and 19 to go. I took it with Chiara, the one we had already established was "the nice TA." The first thing she asks me is: "What does Pinelli [author of one of the books I didn't read] say about mannerism?" Luckily, I know the answer and start talking about how there are two different generations, anti-classicists and late mannerists, blah blah blah. The exam is going pretty well, she opens the book and points to a random mannerism work, which I recognize as Pontormo's Trasporto di Cristo al sepolcro and start telling her things about it that I had read on wikipedia. She then goes: "Pontormo was influenced by an earlier, non-Italian artist that did etchings. Who was he?" BOH. I had no idea. I didn't even have a guess. I want to say he was German (complete guess), just to say something, but I was just like "I have no idea." She tries to give me clues (useless), one of which is "He's German." UGH, why didn't I say that! I'm still clueless. She tells me its Durer, who I had heard somewhere briefly but of whom I was confident I knew nothing about. I of course go "OOOH Durer," do some nodding, and make some stuff up, which she seemed to have bought. We then move on to talk about the late-mannerists and then jumped to the 18th century and talked about Fussli and self-portraits of the time, yada yada yada. I did pretty well talking about everything (though my Italian was pretty awful at this point), but got into a couple of pickles that I did decently well at getting myself out of. She then goes, "Alright, it is obvious to me that you studied, so I'm going to give you a thirty." Now, I thought that exam had gone terribly, so was thinking she had just given me a 20 before I actually saw her write the 3-0 on the piece of paper. Whoo whoo! Now, one to go.

I rush to the filologia romanza exam and get there at about 3:45. There's a girl in there taking the exam (YES!) and five people waiting (AWW MAN!). One by one they go in and come out and FIVE in a row get a 30 e lode. Now I had already heard from a couple of Americans that took the exam early that it was a joke, but expected it to be really hard for the Italians. Nope. The Italians all were like "I didn't know anything, but luckily he just talked the whole time and then gave me a 30 e lode!" One girl was so excited she called home (she said she never thought in her whole life she'd get one. I was really happy for her.). So when the last Italian goes in to take the exam, the professor comes out and asks me if I want to go today. I say that I would. He is SUPER nice to me and goes on about how that's a really good idea and that it's better for him that I go today. Yes! He's in a good mood again! That last Italian ended up getting a 30 (she kept saying that she TRULY didn't know anything because she didn't go to class). Then it was my turn. OK, I went into that exam with seven vocabulary words under my belt and two different topics I could talk about (the different approaches to studying linguistics and the different Italian dialects). I walk in and he asks me what I study normally. I tell him mathematics and we talk about how different that it is from linguistics and he tells me that he imagines it was difficult for me. He then goes, "So, did you read that book." I say yes. He goes, "so tell me something interesting you read from it." I start talking about how incredibly interesting the different ways to approach linguistics was to me and throw out four of my vocabulary words: diatopica, pidgin, creole, and diastratica. I had diafasica and diachronica lined up, but he then changed the topic to how romance languages have spread to all places throughout the world. He then asks, "So where in the Americas do they speak romance languages?" I go, "Well, they speak French in New Orleans, Quebec, and Haiti and they speak Spanish in Southern California, New York, parts of New Mexico and Texas, Mexico, and much of Central and South America." I pause for a second and he goes, "Yes, yes. And there's another language that isn't French or Spanish that they speak in that big country, what is it?" And I go, "Oh, of course. They speak Portuguese in Brazil." There's another moment of silence which I am about to fill with talking about dialects when he goes, "Oh no, that's enough." He gives me my 30, wishes me safe travels, and I'm on my way.

So for those of you keeping score, after an entire semester of doing nothing, followed by about three real days of studying my grades are 30 e lode, 30 and 30. Absurd.

And now I'm all done and ready to be home, though I know it will be tough to leave. This experience really was wonderful and strangely wasn't what I was expecting (though I can't really tell you what I was expecting.) I know that I've matured a lot, learned to cook, got better at Italian, got to see awesome places, met some awesome people, and best of all, got to spend time with my family in Italy. Really an unforgettable experience.

Can't wait to see you all soon!